I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
