we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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