a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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