Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
