I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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