There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
