whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
