Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
