why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
