Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
