So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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