I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
