Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
