I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
