I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize