five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
