Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
