Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
