I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
