who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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