Who wears a wallet chain?!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i now understand why vodka
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
