Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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