she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
