Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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