....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
accomplished twins. life is a go
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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