You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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