yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
