What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
