I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
