It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
