I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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