ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
