Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
