she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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