he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mom said you looked used
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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