But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
