if you like me you must not know who I am
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
