wakey wakey hands off snakey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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