I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
