We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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