You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
