I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
