During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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