She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
