You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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