So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
