My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
