I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
