Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
