when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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