already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize