First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
