it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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