I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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