In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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