I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
