p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
