i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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