how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
