we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
