really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
