Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
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