I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize