kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
