I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dude. I can hear the air.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
